Sierralima

A while back I started wondering why we prayed before we ate. It had become simply a ritual to me, with words that were pretty much the same. I started thinking about the words I said, what they meant, and if I really meant them. From what I’ve seen and can remember from the Bible, food related prayers were not much more than “gave thanks.” So that made sense; we give thanks to God for providing the food for us. He is, after all, the true provider of food. But the thoughts continued – if God gives us food and all other good things, why do we only thank him for the food? Should we not be thanking God every time we turn on a light switch? Or check our email? Or meet friends? Or attend church? Or get into a car? Or survive a Shanghai taxi ride? That might be difficult, because then we’d pretty much be giving thanks continuously. Or maybe that’s the point…. (1 Thess. 5:18)

But what if giving thanks is not only showing honor to God who gives all good things, but is a way to keep us from sin? If we can develop a habit of thankfulness, we’ll always be conversing with God. “Thank you for these clothes. Thank for you for the sunshine today. Thank you for this paycheck. Thank you for Starbucks coffee. Thank you for water. Thank you for warmth. Thank you for breath.” Then it gets interesting. “Dear God, thank you for pornography. Thank you for this opportunity to sneak out and go clubbing. Thank you that nobody noticed I stole money from work.” That just doesn’t sound quite right, does it?

Let’s be thankful in everything, and allow our constant thought of God’s good gifts keep our eyes and minds focussed on him, so that when we are tempted to sin, we are aware that we cannot thank God for it, know it’s not his gift, and resist to stay centered in his goodness.

I have been caught up recently by the “gospel-centered” movement. I don’t mean to make it sound like a passing fad, but more appropriate words fail me at the moment. I don’t confess to yet be living a gospel-centered life as I see it defined, but I have caught glimpses of it over the past few months that make it the most desirable thing I could possibly imagine. I have been caught up in the scandal of Christ that is God’s grace to his enemies, which has brought me to my knees in thanksgiving. I have seen his sovereignty in this world, and coupled with his loving grace, has brought confidence in circumstances of this life – good or bad. And so I have lived without worry. Or was it apathy? As I see future decisions with so many unknowns that it makes any effort to decide a fruitless endeavor, I am accused of not planning for the future. So, am I trusting in Christ’s finished work for the future, or am I simply being a lazy idiot? I have found that in pretty much anything I plan for, the circumstances change (i.e. someone is late, someone is early, something doesn’t arrive, something else comes, there was a misunderstanding) to the extent that decisions must be made on the fly anyway. I have found it is easier/faster/cheaper to deal with the effects of a problem than to try to prevent the problem outright. (For these, I pick my battles – some problems are worth the extra effort to avoid.)

But a gospel-centered life has no room for apathy. These glimpses into the joy we have in Christ appear to be feeding my pride, puffing me up and making me think I know better than so many others. A gospel-centered life means I can plan my heart out without worrying about the outcomes, knowing that God uses the process as much, if not more, than the result. The solution to gospel-centered apathy is more gospel, more gazing (not glimpsing) into the glory and grace of God through our savior Jesus, until we are overwhelmed by his mercy and his love pours out of us onto others with the urgency of eternity at stake – the opposite of apathy.

We are compelled to share the gospel. Or are we coerced? Often in life we are guilt-tripped by leaders and friends to share the gospel with non-believers, but for most of us it is scary, and the other person always has questions we can’t answer. We are not properly equipped. So we read all the Lewis and Keller we can find to polish up our apologetics, and memorize key articles on answeresingenesis.org, but they still ask questions we can’t answer, and they still don’t believe. But just as David was well equipped by Saul before facing Goliath and wasn’t comfortable using anything except the gifts God gave him and his trust in God himself, so we must not step out and convince others using someone else’s Christianity, but our own lives transformed by the gospel’s scandal of grace. If we don’t know the gospel ourselves, how can we share it?

This world is broken. Our relationships are broken. Our desires are broken. Our families are broken. Our friends are broken. Our learning is broken. Our doing is broken. Our lives are broken. We are broken. We must not live in the lie that things are ok. Only Jesus can fix what’s broken. We must live in the hope that he is the fixer of our brokenness.

I was reading this Our Daily Bread and the idea of “flee” came to mind. Fleeing brings to mind the idea of rapidly leaving an area, and in general leaving many things behind. The idea is that you value your life much more than your possessions and are willing to leave them behind to save yourself.

So what should we be fleeing from?

Therefore, my dear friends, flee from idolatry
– 1 Corinthians 10:14

But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love,endurance and gentleness.
– 1 Timothy 6:11

Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.
- 2 Timothy 2:22

So we must run. We must run from the ideas and temptations of this world. It’s not a running that is done with our legs, but with our hearts. There are many things that will be left behind as we run – everything that holds us back. We cannot take our worldly treasures with us and expect to be able to run fast enough. As our hearts flee the coming destruction of this world, we run towards Christ, our savior and protection. He has completed the work. The job is done. There is nothing else we need to fear as he has promised to provide for all our needs. We need to pack nothing for our journey. Let us not hold on to anything from this world, whether it be movies, video games, money, grades, computers, family, friends, sex, comfort, power, identity, or anything else that we already have in Christ. Let us empty our pockets, remove our bags, leave the carry-on at home, and run after Christ and him alone.

I really like glow in the dark stuff. Actually, I had forgotten how much I did like it until this past Saturday for Kingdom Come. The theme was “Shine” and they gave out glow-in-the-dark wristbands. That night when I got home, I stuck the wristband under a lamp next to my bed. Actually , I put the wristband directly under the lamp so it would get maximum light. When I shut out the light to go to bed, the band was glowing, and it was easy to read the text written on the band. But after a while, the glow fades and eventually it emits no more light.

And that’s exactly how it works in our lives. We can’t generate the light of salvation ourselves. This only comes from Jesus Christ. Do you ever wonder why it’s so hard to live for Christ in your work or school? Maybe it’s because you aren’t placing yourself under the lamp of Jesus enough. The more we receive, the more we glow.

I was reading The Gospel Coalition blog and came across this article about Mother’s day being bittersweet for some who long to be mothers themselves. I found the following paragraph to be especially poignant:

Single woman watching your biological clock tick away, I encourage you to look today at your longings through the lens of the gospel. You don’t have to deny your longing or talk yourself into a happy attitude for all the good things you can do without kids. It’s OK to mourn the loss. God said children are a blessing. But after the fall, we do not all get to experience that blessing. The gospel makes up the difference. While you are disappointed in deep ways and that disappointment is real, you will one day sit with Jesus in heaven profoundly content with his work in you through this disappointment. In heaven, you will have no longing for something you missed. You will not be disappointed. May confidence in that hope sustain you.

It seems that many times we try to lie to ourselves about what we want, whether it be a spouse, children, a certain job, getting into a certain collage, or any other situation we don’t have as much control over as we would like to have. We try to tell ourselves that where you are is exactly where you want to be, and try to force yourself to be happy with your current status, or even argue that you don’t really want that spouse/job/college/etc. But this is very important – don’t be shy about your desires. It’s OK to know what you want, even though you don’t have it. Share that desire with God and with your close friends and relatives. But know that as you follow Christ, he is using your situation to bring you closer to the person he wants you to be. Your confidence and your hope is always, only in Christ. Just the same as it will be when you get these desires of your heart. Because of this hope, we must not base our lives or our value on what we don’t have or what will not last, but only on the gospel, which lasts forever. Like the article says, you will not be disappointed with the outcome.

It’s been a long day. I have attended parts of all four services that SCF offers, but none of them completely. I was collecting money and forms for the upcoming retreat for the first two, then running a video in the last two. After that was cell group. As of this writing, I left home over 12 hours ago and am now on the bus on my way home.

Life in the past 4 weeks since I switched jobs has been good. There have been some down moments, but I have often wanted to say I love what I do! All in all I’m very excited about the new group I’m leading as well as the potential for what could happen here in Shanghai. God has really blessed me in the past weeks and while I know the will be difficult times, I’m confident his way is right.

Things have been very busy for me the past couple of months, and this weekend especially. I’m starting to back out of SOAR so I can spend more time on the future group, and I also want to finish strong at work. With the transition, there is more work for me on top of the regular duties. This weekend we had a software delivery which are always stressful, I lead a meeting for the new youth group, and I had an interview for a job I wanted to get.

In about one week I’ll be going to Kuala Lumpur for a vacation. Hopefully I can relax a bit there. My cousin, Amber will be there for a bit and I scheduled my trip to be able to be there while she is. I’m really looking forward to it. After I get back, I suspect it will be the home stretch for by current job and lots of learning and planning for the upcoming youth ministry.

So it has been a long time since my last real update. I spent Christmas in Shanghai, but had a business trip to Cedar Rapids in January and spent an extra week in South Dakota during the Spring Festival holiday. The airplane has so far flown two more times since my last post, the most recent being this past Friday. 

But I suppose the biggest news, at least to me, is my plan to change jobs. I have informed my company that I do not plan to continue in my current position after August 14 of this year. I have felt the call to be more involved in the youth ministry with the international fellowship I have worked in during the past two and a half years. I want to spend more time helping with administrative things and, more importantly, spend time with the students. My current job makes it difficult to commit to specific times as I often have to work in the evenings or overnight. Also, I no longer find this job very enjoyable. 

I don’t have any job lined up after August, which is a concern as I will need a source if income and a visa to remain in Shanghai. While it is possible for me that I’ll work part time at my current position, it is not my preferred option and I will likely not be employed by Collins in any capacity after August. So this phase of my life appears to be coming to a close. 

After I talked to the church about my plans, an opportunity to lead a new group near several international schools appeared. This was presented to me, so this will be what I will be doing in four months. I am quite excited about this. After I agreed to lead this, they started a small group of students themselves, which I try to visit whenever I can. I am also starting planning for the next school year when I will be directly involved. I’m excited to see what God has in store!

The journey over the next few months will be interesting. The airplane will likely be transferred to Yanliang and I expect to spend some time there after that. I need to document a few things I know so that my coworkers have the information after I leave. I need to plan what I can for the upcoming youth ministry. I need to prepare for a significant lifestyle change. And possibly most importantly, I need to mature and develop into the person I need to be to be in this leadership position, focussing on what is important and leaving the rest to another time. But it will be a fun ride!